Step One: SLICE POMEGRANATE

Step Two: SMASH POMEGRANATE HALF

Step Three: ???

Step Four: PROFIT

MOTHERFUCKERS WANT TO LEARN HOW TO CUT SHIT?

EVER WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK FROM A WORLD-RENOWNED CHEF WHO RIVALS GORDON RAMSEY? 

BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A BISCUIT, HERE IS YOUR MAN~ 

THIS BADASS TEACHES YOU THE BASICS - HOW TO NOT SUCK AT COOKING, HOW TO SEASON THINGS, AND GENERALLY HOW TO BE SOMEONE WHO COULD KICK THE ASS OF ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE STABBED INTO SUBMISSION. 

ROCK ON MY FRIENDS. 

ROCK ON INTO THE ENDLESS NIGHT. 

TO PUT A CHERRY ON TOP, HE ALSO TEACHES YOU HOW TO MAKE CHICKEN NUGGETS FASTER AND CHEAPER THAN STORE-BOUGHT FROZEN NUGGETS. 

GOTTA HAVE DEM CHIKIN NUGGERS 

HOW TO PEEL A MANGO:

GET A STRONG-ASS CUP, I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF IT’S PLASTIC OR GLASS, BUT THAT SHIT BETTER BE STRONGER THAN WOLVERINE’S MIGHTY JAWBONE. 

GET YOUR CUP.

OBTAIN A RIPE MANGO. 

FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE VIDEO. 

VICTORY!

I made those goddamn delicious CANAPES! Unfortunately, I did not have any beautiful MINI MUFFIN PANS D:< such a tragedy. So, I used a REGULAR MUFFIN PAN, and it turned out fine(plus there was more volume for the yummy KALE AND ARTICHOKE DIP :DD). I also coated the wonton wrappers in olive oil, as my first batch didn’t turn out that crunchy for some reason?? I also added some more of the heavenly mozzarella on top uvu

I made those goddamn delicious CANAPES! Unfortunately, I did not have any beautiful MINI MUFFIN PANS D:< such a tragedy. So, I used a REGULAR MUFFIN PAN, and it turned out fine(plus there was more volume for the yummy KALE AND ARTICHOKE DIP :DD). I also coated the wonton wrappers in olive oil, as my first batch didn’t turn out that crunchy for some reason?? I also added some more of the heavenly mozzarella on top uvu

veganbutt:

squigglydigg:

imsopopfly:

Wow I like weird fruits and I have only heard of three of these before. Only actually tried one-the kiwano melon. I eat those regularly.

I made the mistake once of trying the African cucumber.  It, uh.  Tastes like cucumber.  Yeah.

Kiwano is absolutely delicious wtf you talking about

DON’T FORGET THE LAU LAU (rose apple), WHICH HAS A TEXTURE OF A PEAR, BUT FUCKING TASTES LIKE A ROSE SMELLS

Blew my fucking mind when I tried one. 

(via hideki16seiyuu)

roachpatrol:

inklesspen:

cdrsarahpalmer:

KAIJU SUSHI (a dessert)

I saw Pacific Rim today and all I could think about during the scene [SPOILER] when Hannibal’s organ harvesters are inside the dead Kaiju [/SPOILER] was "Wow, if Kaiju weren’t horrible abominations that are probably incapable of being digested by humans, I bet they’d be great on the sushi market!" 

So, Kaiju sushi. It’s a super-thick altered rice pudding recipe with berry-flavored blue jello on top. The textures are similar so they don’t taste out-of-tune with each other, and it’s mostly creamy rice pudding with a splash of fruitiness from the jello. TL;DR - if you don’t like rice pudding, you probably shouldn’t eat this. 

Instruction/Recipe Post soon to follow {HERE}

i need this in my mouth

SCREAMS IF YOU MADE THEM JELLO SHOTS THEN THE BURN OF THE ALCOHOL COUD SUBSTITUTE FOR THE AMMONIA BLOOD OR WHATEVER IT IS KAIJU GOT UP ONS AND IT WOULD ALSO FUCK YOU RIGHT UP

SOMEONE COME AND HAVE A PACIFIC RIM PARTY WITH ME RIGHT THE GODDAMN HELL NOW

YEAAAAH!

I’M INCLUDING A LINK FOR MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GELATIN/JELLO AND HOW TO MAKE THAT SHIT SUPER ALCOHOLIC.

>BAM

THAT LINK IS SO HARDCORE IT EVEN SHOWS ROCKSTARS HOW TO MAKE VEGAN JELLO! 

*backflips into the sunset*

Anonymous said: one time I had some chocolate milk that tasted like chocolate milk yogurt and I liked it, but then I checked the label and found out it was expired. It still haunts me at night because I thought it tasted good. what do I do??

Become at peace with your memory of half-spoiled milk. 

The taste of spoiled milk will differ depending on which bacteria had the largest population. 

The most common types of bacteria to spoil milk are often kinds that will make someone sick to their stomach - it causes nausea, cramps and some wicked digestive issues.

It sounds like you were lucky, and the bacteria that infested your chocolate milk was a strain similar to the one used to make yogurt. In that case, the milk likely did taste like chocolate yogurt. Hell, it might have been naturally-occurring chocolate yogurt, as hilarious as that sounds. 

All yogurt is, is milk left in a warm place to ferment with a certain strain of bacteria, some sugar, and extra powdered milk. 

A lot of good dairy products are made with milk that has been left to the mercy of bacteria infestations. 

Spoiled milk isn’t all that scary - you just have to find the right bacteria to make friends with. 

ALL HAIL LAST YEAR’S WINNERS

WITH A HOLLA TO THEIR LLAMA, AND IMPRESSED CLAPPING FOR THEIR DRIVEWAY-CHALKING SKILLS, FIRST PLACE WINNER WAS Expletively Esoteric,

SECOND PLACE WENT TO THE GLORIOUS, THE POWERFUL, THE ONES WITH THE CUTEST KETTLE SONG I’VE EVER HEARD, Team Lexical Gap

THIRD PLACE, THE VEGETABLE LORDS AND THE ONLY TEAM TO PUNCH A MELON INSTEAD OF AN APPLE,  Chilling Chili Chicks

FOURTH PLACE, WITH A LOVELY RENDITION OF “Everyone’s sad,  Everyone’s dying, Everything’s gone to shit’ ON TOP OF AN ACTUAL SNAKE-CLAD DRAGON LORD, THE MIGHTY  BOLDLY ACROSS THE TENNANT

HEAR YE HEAR YE

I DO DECLARE BY THE POWER HANDED DOWN THROUGH THE F.R. LINE FOR GENERATIONS, THAT THE TIME IS UPON US! 

INDEED, IT IS NEARLY TIME FOR THE SECOND ANNUAL FRHUNT.

YOU NOW HAVE ADVANCED WARNING, TO GATHER A TEAM OF FOUR (or less) OF YOUR CLOSEST FUCKING COMPANIONS AND PREPARE TO EMBARK ON A FANTASTIC QUEST. 

THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING SCAVENGER HUNT, AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE! (Team members don’t have to be in the same location, or even the same country - you just have to agree to be on a team, and keep in contact with each other somehow.) 

TEAM SUBMISSIONS WILL BE OPEN NEXT WEEK. 

THE HUNT WILL LAST FROM THE MORNING OF JUNE 22, UNTIL THE EVENING OF JUNE 29. 

THE LIST OF TASKS WILL BE RELEASED JUNE 22, AND THE LAST ENTRY IS DUE JUNE 29, BEFORE MIDNIGHT (eastern USA time zone) 

EACH TASK WILL BE WORTH POINTS! IF YOU CAN’T COMPLETE A TASK FOR WHATEVER REASON, BRUSH OFF YOUR SHOULDERS BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL A WARRIOR AND WINNING IS STILL AN OPTION! HARNESS YOUR RAGE TO KICK ASS AT OTHER TASKS! 

SO GATHER UP SOME HARDCORE TEAMS AND REJOICE IN YOUR INHERENT AWESOMENESS, MY BRAVEST WARRIORS. 

THE HUNT IS APPROACHING

dragonyuri1:

now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…

dragonyuri1:

now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…

(via iguanamouth)

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LET ME EXPLAIN YOU A THING

BLACKBERRIES AND BLACK RASPBERRIES ARE NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING. 

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 

BLACKBERRIES HAVE A SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT SIZE AND SHAPE. THEY ARE LONGER AND FATTER, AND TASTE NOTHING LIKE RASPBERRIES. 

BLACK RASPBERRIES ARE SHAPED LIKE NORMAL RASPBERRIES, EXCEPT THEY’RE DARKER IN COLOR AND TASTE SIMILAR TO RASPBERRIES.  

BOTH BLACKBERRIES AND BLACK RASPBERRIES GROW ON THORNY VINES.

MULLBERRIES LOOK SIMILAR TO BLACKBERRIES IN SIZE AND SHAPE, BUT WHEN THEY’RE PLUCKED, THEY HAVE A STEM STILL STICKING OUT ONE END. THEY ALSO GROW ON NON-THORNY TREES. 

RASPBERRIES AND BLACKBERRIES WILL HAVE A LITTLE BOWL-SHAPE WHERE THEY WERE PLUCKED OFF THE PLANT, WHILE MULBERRIES HAVE THAT STEM SHIT. 

NOW STOP CONFUSING BLACKBERRIES AND BLACK RASPBERRIES. 

I can forgive you for confusing blackberries and mulberries, though. They look hella similar. 

thesassycat:

asammyg:

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?! I WANT TO DO THIS. 

It’s literally showing you how to do it

(via willdangergraham)

You asshats are talented and majestic warriors, and don't you ever forget it. Conquer the world. You have the potential.

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