WELL PINCH MY ASS AND CALL ME A MOOSE, THESE ARE SOME GODDAMN DELICIOUS YOGURT-COVERED BLUEBERRIES!
THAT’S RIGHT YOU SLY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
WE GET TO USE THE MAGNIFICENT ELEMENTS THAT ARE CONTAINED WITHIN THAT WHITE CREAMY GOO THAT COULD BE A EUPHEMISM FOR FUCKING ANYTHING.
WHIP OUT YOUR PLAIN OR VANILLA YOGURT, SKEWER STICKS AND BLUEBERRIES.
SHIT, YOU COULD DO ANY SMALLISH FRUIT, BUT I FUCKING LIKE BLUEBERRIES SO YOU CAN SUCK MY INTERNET DICK!
LOOK AT THOSE GORGEOUS ASSHOLES! CHILLING THERE LIKE THEY DON’T KNOW THE SECRETS TO THE UNIVERSE. SHIT, I BET KEVIN TRAN EATS THE NON-DAIRY VERSION OF THIS SHIT BEFORE HE GETS DOWN AND DIRTY WITH HIS ANCIENT TABLETS!
CLEVER LITTLE SHITS KNOW HOW IT’S DONE!
IMPALE THE SMUG ASSHOLES ONTO YOUR SKEWER STICKS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO UNITE THE WORLD’S GREATEST HEROES AGAINST YOU, AND THESE FUCKERS ARE HONORABLE MEN!
THAT FUCKING LINEUP LOOKS AS SCRUMPTIOUS AS A CONSULTING DETECTIVE WITH HIS COLLAR POPPED!
NOW ROLL THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE YOGURT! PRETEND YOU’RE ENACTING SOME EROTIC FANFICTION AND JUST GO FOR IT!
NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS ON A PLATE AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR CAPTAIN’S SPANGLY ASS, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE THAT’S RIDICULOUSLY COLD.
LIKE A FREEZER BUT FUCK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE, IT’S YOUR GODDAMN CHOICE!
GO WATCH A HALF-HOUR EPISODE OF SOMETHING HEARTBREAKING AND THESE BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SHITS WILL BE READY FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK!
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CAN SAY ‘THIS IS SUSPICIOUSLY EROTIC BUT ALSO DELICIOUS’
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