Million Dollar Pie recipe

Okay, I have a recipe for Million Dollar pie.

You’re going to need:

  • Condensed milk. Get fucking Eagle Brand if you can since it’s some really good shit. Make sure to get a 14 oz. can since this recipe makes two pies. 
  • Two graham cracker crusts. You can be a boss and make it yourself, or get some from the store. REMEMBER TO GET TWO. 
  • 1/2 cup of lemon juice
  • 16 ounces of whipped cream
  • 1 cup of chopped walnuts/pecans/nut of your choice
  • And finally you’ll need crushed pineapple, about 20 oz. worth

Alright, get out a bowl and mix your condensed milk, crushed pineapple, nuts, and lemon juice together.

After you think it’s blended well, fold in the whipped cream. FUCKING FOLD IT IN LIKE YOU’RE TUCKING A KITTEN INTO A WARM BED. MOTHER FUCKERS BETTER LISTEN CAUSE IF YOU MIX IT, THE PIE WON’T BE AS FLUFFY AND LIGHT.


You got that done? Good. Pour your mix into the pie crusts and let chill for three to four hours. Or you can be lazy and put it in the freezer for an hour and a half. The best thing about this pie is it’s fucking delicious if frozen as well.

NOW ENJOY THAT PIE. OH? DONE EATING THAT DELICIOUS AMBROSIA ALREADY? WELL, GOOD THING YOU MADE TWO PIES.

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You asshats are talented and majestic warriors, and don't you ever forget it. Conquer the world. You have the potential.

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