Anonymous asked: UM EXCUSE ME HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE APPLESAUCE LIKE EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE THAT SHIT IT JUST TURNS INTO A FUCKING GLOB OF GOD KNOWS WHAT AND IT TASTES FUCKING HORRIBLE LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ADD ASIDE FROM FUCKING APPLES SO THAT IT TASTES GOOD
USE YOUR SHARPENED CREDIT CARD TO PEEL, CORE AND CHOP 4 APPLES.
SLAP 1/4 CUP SUGAR, 3/4 CUP WATER AND 1/2 TABLESPOON GROUND CINNAMON INTO A POT ALONGSIDE THOSE BAD-ASS APPLES. COVER THAT BULLSHIT!
JAM OUT TO “AMERICAN PIE” AND MASTER KUNG-FU WHILE WATCHING THAT MOTHERFUCKER COOK ON MEDIUM HEAT FOR 17 MINUTES.
WHIP THAT SUCKER OFF THE STOVE AND MASH IT UP WITH A FORK OR MAYBE YOUR FISTS, IDONTFUCKINGCARE.
SHOVE IT IN THE FRIDGE TO COOL AND YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME BADASS APPLESAUCE!
FEEL LIKE A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER, DON’T YOU!
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