TRICKSY MOTHERFUCKING HOBBITSES NEED SOME PRANKS FOR APRIL FOOL’S DAY?
YOU BETTER SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T HURT PEOPLE, BECAUSE BULLSHIT LIKE THAT RUINS THE FUCKING HOLIDAY!
BECAUSE I’M A SHITHEAD WHO LOVES HORRIFYING PEOPLE, HERE’S SOME OF MY FAVORITE APRIL’S FOOLS PRANKS~ 

DUDE YOU NASTY!



BACKFLIP TO YOUR FRIDGE AND EMPTY A MAYONNAISE JAR INTO A DIFFERENT JAR, OR SMALL TUPPERWARE OR SOME SHIT, BECAUSE YOU NEED THE BOTTLE WITH THE LABEL ON IT!
PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN ROCKSTAR VANILLA PUDDING OR PLAIN YOGURT (OR VEGAN SUBSTITUTE)
THEN FILL THAT FUCKING JAR WITH AS MUCH GOOEY WHITE STUFF AS YOU THINK YOUR ACID-FILLED STOMACH CAN HANDLE!
PARTY YOUR ASS DOWN TO A PUBLIC PLACE, CHILL ON A BENCH IN THE MOST CROWDED PLACE AND EAT YOUR PUDDING OR YOGURT OUT OF THAT MAYO JAR WITH A SPOON!
LAUGH AT THE FACES OF THE IGNORANT. 
THIS BULLSHIT CAN ALSO BE DONE WITH A LOTION OR SUNSCREEN BOTTLE, BUT MAKE SURE THE SUBSTANCE YOU’RE REPLACING IS NON-TOXIC AND YOU WASH THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE BOTTLES!
POISONING YOURSELF FOR A PRANK IS PRETTY DAMN STUPID. 

SOME ASSHOLE STOLE OUR FOOD!

GET A SHIT-TON OF BOXES READY THE DAY BEFORE, AND WHILE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING, PUT EVERYTHING FROM THE CUPBOARDS INTO THE BOXES AND HIDE THEM IN YOUR ROOM OR MAYBE TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, I DON’T FUCKING CARE. 
MAKE YOURSELF A CUP OF FACE-MELTINGLY DELICIOUS COFFEE AND WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO REALIZE ALL THEIR FUCKING FOOD IS GONE!
BONUS POINTS IF YOU MANAGE TO SWIPE THE DISHWARE AS WELL!

HOLY SHIT NINJA WATER

BALANCE A GLASS OF WATER ON THE BACK OF YOUR HAND. 
LIKE AN ASSHOLE, BET YOUR FRIEND THAT THEY CAN’T BALANCE TWO GLASSES AT ONCE - ONE ON EACH HAND. (IT FUCKING HELPS TO GET THEM TO DO ONE, THEN URGE THEM TO TRY A SECOND ONE)
AS SOON AS THEY HAVE THE WATER BALANCED ON BOTH HANDS, WALK THE FUCK AWAY! YOU ASSHOLE!
UNFORTUNATELY, IF THAT PERSON IS A GODDAMN NINJA THEY MAY BE ABLE TO TOSS THE GLASS UP A BIT AND CATCH IT LIKE A FUCKING NINJA WITHOUT SLOPPING WATER ALL OVER THE PLACE. 
HOLY SHIT, RUN. THEY PROBABLY HAVE A SWORD STASHED UP THEIR ASS AND CAN KILL YOU SIX-WAYS TO WEDNESDAY. 

RABIES FROM ABOVE!

PRANCE YOUR MAJESTIC ASS OVER TO A STORE FOR A LITTLE STUFFED MOUSE TOY. 
WRAP A STRING OF JUSTICE AROUND ITS TAIL OR PAW, AND TAPE THE STRING TO THE INSIDE OF A CUPBOARD, SHORT SO WHEN YOU YANK OPEN THE DOOR LIKE A CONFIDENT MOTHERFUCKER, THE MOUSE WILL JERK INTO THEIR FACE!
(KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR PRANK SO NO ONE WHO IS HANDLING KNIVES OR DELICATE DISHWARE GETS STARTLED. WE DON’T NEED ANY MOTHERFUCKERS GETTING STABBED HERE)

TRICKSY MOTHERFUCKING HOBBITSES NEED SOME PRANKS FOR APRIL FOOL’S DAY?

YOU BETTER SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T HURT PEOPLE, BECAUSE BULLSHIT LIKE THAT RUINS THE FUCKING HOLIDAY!

BECAUSE I’M A SHITHEAD WHO LOVES HORRIFYING PEOPLE, HERE’S SOME OF MY FAVORITE APRIL’S FOOLS PRANKS~ 

DUDE YOU NASTY!

image

BACKFLIP TO YOUR FRIDGE AND EMPTY A MAYONNAISE JAR INTO A DIFFERENT JAR, OR SMALL TUPPERWARE OR SOME SHIT, BECAUSE YOU NEED THE BOTTLE WITH THE LABEL ON IT!

PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN ROCKSTAR VANILLA PUDDING OR PLAIN YOGURT (OR VEGAN SUBSTITUTE)

THEN FILL THAT FUCKING JAR WITH AS MUCH GOOEY WHITE STUFF AS YOU THINK YOUR ACID-FILLED STOMACH CAN HANDLE!

PARTY YOUR ASS DOWN TO A PUBLIC PLACE, CHILL ON A BENCH IN THE MOST CROWDED PLACE AND EAT YOUR PUDDING OR YOGURT OUT OF THAT MAYO JAR WITH A SPOON!

LAUGH AT THE FACES OF THE IGNORANT. 

THIS BULLSHIT CAN ALSO BE DONE WITH A LOTION OR SUNSCREEN BOTTLE, BUT MAKE SURE THE SUBSTANCE YOU’RE REPLACING IS NON-TOXIC AND YOU WASH THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE BOTTLES!

POISONING YOURSELF FOR A PRANK IS PRETTY DAMN STUPID. 

SOME ASSHOLE STOLE OUR FOOD!

image

GET A SHIT-TON OF BOXES READY THE DAY BEFORE, AND WHILE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING, PUT EVERYTHING FROM THE CUPBOARDS INTO THE BOXES AND HIDE THEM IN YOUR ROOM OR MAYBE TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, I DON’T FUCKING CARE. 

MAKE YOURSELF A CUP OF FACE-MELTINGLY DELICIOUS COFFEE AND WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO REALIZE ALL THEIR FUCKING FOOD IS GONE!

BONUS POINTS IF YOU MANAGE TO SWIPE THE DISHWARE AS WELL!

HOLY SHIT NINJA WATER

image

BALANCE A GLASS OF WATER ON THE BACK OF YOUR HAND. 

LIKE AN ASSHOLE, BET YOUR FRIEND THAT THEY CAN’T BALANCE TWO GLASSES AT ONCE - ONE ON EACH HAND. (IT FUCKING HELPS TO GET THEM TO DO ONE, THEN URGE THEM TO TRY A SECOND ONE)

AS SOON AS THEY HAVE THE WATER BALANCED ON BOTH HANDS, WALK THE FUCK AWAY! YOU ASSHOLE!

UNFORTUNATELY, IF THAT PERSON IS A GODDAMN NINJA THEY MAY BE ABLE TO TOSS THE GLASS UP A BIT AND CATCH IT LIKE A FUCKING NINJA WITHOUT SLOPPING WATER ALL OVER THE PLACE. 

HOLY SHIT, RUN. THEY PROBABLY HAVE A SWORD STASHED UP THEIR ASS AND CAN KILL YOU SIX-WAYS TO WEDNESDAY. 

RABIES FROM ABOVE!

image

PRANCE YOUR MAJESTIC ASS OVER TO A STORE FOR A LITTLE STUFFED MOUSE TOY. 

WRAP A STRING OF JUSTICE AROUND ITS TAIL OR PAW, AND TAPE THE STRING TO THE INSIDE OF A CUPBOARD, SHORT SO WHEN YOU YANK OPEN THE DOOR LIKE A CONFIDENT MOTHERFUCKER, THE MOUSE WILL JERK INTO THEIR FACE!

(KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR PRANK SO NO ONE WHO IS HANDLING KNIVES OR DELICATE DISHWARE GETS STARTLED. WE DON’T NEED ANY MOTHERFUCKERS GETTING STABBED HERE)

  1. 3snowbunny3 reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  2. sherlock-u-lil-shit reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  3. julies-mindpalace reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  4. officerbread reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  5. strawberrymilf reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  6. doctahhh reblogged this from magnssen
  7. opensourceaussie reblogged this from fuckingrecipes and added:
    WHY WASN’T I TOLD OF THIS SOONER!
  8. thekelliestkelly reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  9. patrick-scrumptious reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
  10. 0b0eh0b0e reblogged this from fuckingrecipes
You asshats are talented and majestic warriors, and don't you ever forget it. Conquer the world. You have the potential.

view archive



BUY THE BOOK?

Results

Recipe Masterpost

Scavenger Hunt

FUCKING ASK

Submit a recipe -OR- Show your result